Posts Tagged ‘work’

I have spent the day napping and working on a talk I have to give in a couple of weeks about my first book.  This is a big deal for me – I’m trying to become a client of a big speaking agency, and I’m trying to get the president of that agency to be my literary agent.  So I’ve been hunched over the dining room table writing out note cards this afternoon, and, because I’m an ADD victim, getting up for some much-needed breaks here and there.  I’m also starving, did I mention that?  I’m waiting for hubby to get home with some potato salad and corn on the cob to go with the burgers & dogs we’re making on the grill.  I also have two articles to write, and a book to work on.

I don’t know if this is a bipolar thing, or just a Julie thing, but I get overwhelmed very easily, even with good things.  I definitely don’t know how to take life one day at a time.  I always look up and what awaits me and feel like screaming.  And if I actually did scream, it would probably echo, since I feel like I’m at the foot of a giant mountain I have to climb.

It’s a little embarrassing, but it really doesn’t take much to get me to that point, either.  Knowing I have to clean up the kitchen after I cook sometimes makes me want to hide under the futon until either a) everything has rotted and can be thrown away, or b) my husband does it – the more logical choice.  I once had a dream where all of the kitchenware I owned was made of blue plastic, and when it came time to wash it, we threw it over the deck out back and turned the hose on it.  I’m thinking that would probably be more trouble than it’s worth, and not very sanitary.  But I wish life were that simple.  Just throw your clothes out in the yard, hose them down, and with any luck they’ll just try themselves.

Of course, I also once dreamed that I was stuck inside a grandfather clock, swinging on the pendulum thingy, and there was a midget standing outside the clock screaming at me.

I guess I shouldn’t take my dreams too literally.


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